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Getting Real in a Real World

Tony Ruesing, CSP

It is hard to remember a time when an example of different perception was so obvious as the many sides of the conflict in Iraq. Because technology and imbedded reporters give us feedback 24/7 we're able to see and hear many of the diverse opinions about what is going on, more rapidly than at any other time in history.  The world has and is changing.  Right now that change is more rapidly occurring for the Iraqi people than in recent memory.

Tony Ruesing
Tony Ruesing
What I find intriguing is how the very same incident breeds so much difference in the perception of what transpired.  Everyone commenting puts his or her own unique spin on what is happening.  One common theme that seems to run through most of the reporting is blame.  Blame is being used to discredit the other side.  As soon as one group reports something the other side with a completely different spin reports it almost immediately.  Joy in the streets reported by one side is read as people not realizing they have nothing to be joyful about by the other side.  Blame makes everything a fault.

Many years ago researcher Fredrick Herzberg said that when a "dissatisfier" was identified and corrected, dissatisfaction still existed.  The energy, blame in this case, going into the dissatisfaction of one thing was simply refocused on something else.  Rather than satisfaction being the opposite of dissatisfaction, the two have very little in common.  Hence how something is perceived is a function of how the mind processes data and how it equates that data to any particular situation and past experience.  He/she who feels dissatisfaction and blames as a habit may never experience satisfaction.  On the other hand, should they decide to stop seeking to blame and place energy into finding solution and adaptation, they stand a better chance of altering their lives and improving the lives of others.  Blame exists.  The inordinate and unrelenting nature of blame without solution can be destructive.  Nay saying has value when compiled with alternatives.

What is real and unreal for someone varies from person to person.  Reality however is constant.  There in lies part of the problem.  What is or is not real to us only represents our perception of reality.  What someone else perceives is unique to them.  Rather than tell someone what they perceive is wrong or right, offer them an example of both and have them decide for themselves.  Teach them to choose wisely more often.  Teach them to align perception with reality.  The wisdom to choose wisely culminates in a life that has more inner peace attached, regardless of outside circumstance.

It is easy to focus on inadequacies or the shortcomings of other.  That approach takes the heat off ourselves.  A far better approach is to challenge what we believe and hold it up to the scrutiny of those who set the best examples.  By following what they have discovered as meaningful and character filled lives, we have a better opportunity to also contribute.

It is not enough to do for yourself.  It is important to take your place along with others, who are making a better world.  A better world is found in helping other find peacefulness in reality.  Right and wrong is not as complicated as it seems.  If it is measured with the heart and mind, that connection can help you love others the way you are commanded to love yourself.


Congratulations to Tony Ruesing for earning the Certified Speaking Professional award of achievement from the National Speakers Association.
Like to know more about Tony?

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